Things I Learned this Week 1.1

This week has been quite the adventure!

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I’m grateful that I get to live a life in which every day gives me something to reflect upon and this past week has been no exception. So, here’s what I’ve learned:

  1. I learned that sometimes when you think your day is going to be crazy and stressful; it’s really not. It’s a wonderful surprise that you welcome with open arms. This week was looking like it would be crazy and filled with stress, but it wasn’t!
  2. Sometimes your friends kind of suck and sometimes they’re great. It’s so important to have a solid support system as you try to make your way though this crazy life. I’m lucky enough to have one gal pal who I can call at a moment’s notice and know she will always be there, or at the very least attempt to be. We make plans and we put our friendship first because it’s important to us. I mean… who else am I going to watch Grey’s Anatomy with while eating Taco Bell and drinking wine?!? I’ve got another friend who flakes out constantly. We’ve been friends for years, but lately it’s seemed like regardless of how much effort I put in, our friendship falls to the wayside. I guess that’s part of growing up?
  3. Bears are the most adorable creatures to ever exist. The boyf sent me like 6 pictures of little snuggly bears before work one day. It brightened my entire day!
  4. I’m not a good person to come to if you want sympathy for procrastinating. I’ve got a simple solution; don’t do it! I’ve got to learn to be a bit more chill about it, especially with the boyf. He’s a bit of a procrastinator. Don’t deny it, you are!! But I love him anyway, so it is what it is. He’s still the babest babe of all babes.
  5. I love listening to oldies and calming tunes while I’m writing. I need the noise and when I can’t make it out to a cafe or something to get some writing done, music helps. You know what else helps?! Writing crap down on random scrap pieces of paper while I’m working. I came up with some awesome ideas in the middle of the work day, so I scribbled them down and… well… they ended up in the wash so it didn’t really help much that time, but I’m sure it will someday!

Keep learnin’

-LP

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I Crave the Breeze

I’ve noticed as we grow, we try to tame the wild parts of ourselves.

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I realized this fact, yet again, as I was looking at myself in the mirror this morning, running my fingers through the halo of messy brown hair framing my bare face. At 15, I let the curls do their thing, but now I wake up early to smooth them into a more respectable form; I spend 10 minutes applying makeup to this face in order to “accentuate my features.” I spend a majority of my morning trying to transform into a version of myself that I’ve somehow grown into.

Why is it that as we age we feel the need to be tame? Is that just me? Surely, I cannot be the only one who feels like I’ve let go the colorful and crazy pieces of themselves. I was so eager to grow up; I wanted to have the freedom that came along with adulthood, but I didn’t realize how much would change and how quickly. I can’t stay up on the phone until 6 am and roll out of bed at 7 for work without looking and feeling like a zombie. It’s no longer “appropriate” to wear bright blue nail polish and 5 friendship bracelets on one wrist. I can’t even remember the last time I spent an entire day dancing around and eating chips by the handful without a care in the world. When did I last run for fun and not exercise? When’s the last time I spent the entire day in bed with a book and didn’t feel guilty about it? I still remember illegally piercing my cartilage at 15 and hiding it from my mother; over a year ago, I removed that little token of defiance. I think it’s time to put it back in.

But, now I actually separate my wash into lights and darks. I know how to properly iron a pair of trousers and tie the perfect Windsor knot (thanks dad!). I have to file taxes and pay bills. I realize how expensive gas is and why people complain about utilities; I can hold my own in debates about politics, religion, and culture, but truth is, I still know more about Harry Potter than I’d like to admit. I still toy with the idea of painting my toenails blue and when I’m feeling extra saucy I wear an anklet in the summer. Crazy, I know. I just wish I had realized how quickly life goes by; my dad always said that once you leave high school, time flies by. I always laughed at the thought, but as I walked across the stage at my high school commencements, I realized that I was closing another chapter and moving to the next.

On thanksgiving morning, I looked at myself in the mirror before walking out the door. I turned my head from left to right, pushed a strand of perfectly straightened, short, brown hair behind my ear, and looked into my spectacle framed eyes. I sighed when I realized that I’m no longer seventeen. Now let me explain; I don’t feel old, but I just caught a glimpse at myself and I look so different. I have faint wrinkles around my eyes when I smile and I wear diamond studs, glasses, and I do my hair and makeup each day. I don’t recognize myself. When I think about what I look like, I still imagine myself at seventeen. I still imagine the long wavy brown hair and the young, innocent chocolate eyes I once had. I don’t know when life morphed into this entirely new chapter, but the page turned so quickly, I must not have had the chance to notice this time.

-LP

Welcome Home

I dream of the simple life.

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When you ask someone about their dream home, generally they’ll tell you how many bedrooms and bathrooms they want. They’ll tell you how they want their bathroom to be dripping with marble; they want walk in closets and cathedral ceilings. Now this isn’t true of everyone, but so many focus on the structure of the home instead of what you feel upon entering. Ask my mother, she could go on for hours about the number of bedrooms and every little design aspect.

Don’t get me wrong, I have some aesthetics in mind; I want a fireplace to curl up in front of in the living room and a window over the kitchen sink to peek out of while the children play outside. I have plenty of little desires when it comes to our home. I’ve always dreamed of a lush peony bush on the side of our cozy home and a front porch to sit on after the sun has gone down. I’ve got those plans, you know, the ones that you’ve secretly been storing away for “someday.” Plans that make your heart smile and you hope are more than wishes; maybe, just maybe, they are premonitions. At least I hope so.

It’s essential to create a home and not simply live in a house. Create a safe haven. Make your home somewhere you want to spend your days in. If you love paintings, hang them. If you can’t spend a single day without listening to music, play it loudly and dance around to it. Do what makes you happy and make your house into a home for yourself. Believe me, we will have Motown playing on Sundays; we’ll have pictures on the wall and fluffy rugs on the floor. You’ll be able to look around and see that the place you just entered is more than someone’s house; it’s a home.

I want that little home; I want it to be filled with love and happiness. I want to decorate the walls with pictures of the happy family that resides within and cover the fridge with drawings that flowed from precious little hands and notes from the one I love. There will undeniably be stacks of books on the coffee table and piles of blankets in little wooden baskets by the sofa we snuggle on. I long to have the kind of home that shows a family lives there. I wish for it to be filled with smiles that broke into laughter, hugs, and bedtime stories. I want soft moments to be a daily experience and for disagreements to be things that bring us together instead of tear us apart. Sure, maybe it’s childish to have these dreams, but I promise you, I’m not walking through life with my eyes closed.

I know life will be hard and days won’t always be as sunny and cheerful as I’d like. I can accept that, but I’ve always had a bit of a childlike side to myself, so I’m going to walk into the future with these dreams and pray they become reality. I’ll get that peony bush one day, I swear.

-LP

Make Something Beautiful

As an artist, everything you feel the drive to create deserves to be created.

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If you’ve got something to say, something to play, a painting to paint, or whatever, it deserves to be made. Don’t just choose to not create something because you feel like it isn’t relevant. It is. If you have it in your heart or mind to create it, do it! Artists create. That’s just what we do, so don’t bother trying to stifle it. But realize that although you created something, it doesn’t mean that it needs to be shared with the world.

You can keep some things to yourself. Some things aren’t meant to be shared. Sometimes you just need to create them and that’s it. But don’t judge it while you’re busy at work. The worst thing you can do is be critical of your work while you’re in the creative process. There is definitely a time and place for a judging eye, but save that for the editorial process. Allow yourself to work without hindrance , without judgment, and without a critical eye. Your art deserves that much.

Once your work is complete, take a look at it. Determine if it’s something you feel you need to share or if it’s something that simply needed an outlet. I have many poems that I’ve written just because I needed to. I needed to get those thoughts and words out and down on paper. They were running through my head constantly and nothing quiets the craziness inside of myself like putting pen to paper or fingers to the keys.

I’ve also written poems that aren’t meant to be shared by everyone, but rather just the one with whom I just simply can’t articulate the words to describe my feelings through mere conversation. Sometimes the simplest poems are the ones with the most passion and meaning behind them. I wrote one that was probably one of the simplest poems I’ve ever written, but to me, there was just so much in those little lines. More than I could try to describe in simple sentences laced together with my less than perfect tongue. I needed to write it. I needed to put it to paper and get those words out. It’s like the chorus of Jim Croce’s song I’ll Have to Say I Love You in a Song.

Every time I tried to tell you,
The words just came out wrong,
So I’ll have to say I love you in a song.

That’s literally how I felt. I just could not articulate the words to express how I was feeling. My poem needed to be created and it needed to be shared with that one person. As much as I love that poem, you folks will never get to read it because, quite frankly, it’s the most intimate one I’ve written and the recipient is the only one who can truly and deeply appreciate it. (I think you know which one I’m talking about, babe.)

Anyway, back to the point! Create. Just make what needs to be made. You’re an artist and your art deserves to come to life. After creating, evaluate. Determine if it needs to be shared or if it merely needed to be created. There’s nothing wrong with keeping something to yourself. Some things are hard to write about, sing about, whatever; some things are just hard to share, with that being said though, don’t just not share something because you’re afraid of backlash or what people will think. If you choose not to share something, determine that objectively.

I know, I know. It’s so damn difficult to be objective about your work. Seriously, I get it. Half the time I write something, I feel like it’s less than perfect, but sharing it with the boyf makes me feel like maybe it’s not so bad. That’s so important. Honestly, I wouldn’t even have this damn blog if it wasn’t for his encouragement, in his belief in me, in his constant words of affirmation (ha! love language! holla!). But seriously though.

Just be brave; if you’re not feeling brave, fake it ’til you make it! You’ll get there. Don’t be afraid to put yourself out there, but also realize when some things just aren’t meant to be shared. There’s a happy medium that you’ll need to establish within yourself. No one can do that for you, so the responsibility of that falls directly on those shoulders of yours. You can handle it. Know when to create, know when to edit, and know when to determine if your art needs to be shared or if you just want to share it. If you wanna share it, share it!

Keep on creating; us day dreamers do it best.

-LP

P.S. Everyone needs a bit of J.C. in their lives, so feel free to watch that vid below.